After YEARS of shedding tears of heartbreak, disappointment, and sadness, I now find myself shedding tears of overwhelming gratitude, joy, and love. I am continuing my emotional healing process by releasing layers of old beliefs and old ways of being ... over 40 years of heavy baggage.
It's not always a graceful process and sometimes, especially in times of stress, I revert back to unhealthy and unproductive behaviors. Sometimes I:
*grasp for control instead of allowing for flow
*act or speak in unkind ways
*refuse offers of help
*close myself off in self-protection
*sabotage the good things in my life
*attempt to push away the people I love
Each time these old habits and behaviors come up, I observe them, learn from them, and then let them go. I continue adjusting and adapting to Life and how it is inviting me to grow next.
Usually November and December is when I set robust intentions for the next year. But I'm listening to the Guidance I've been receiving lately, which has been asking me to wait, to be patient, and to finish this year in a restful state. I have had a few years of intense healing and this year brought many additional closures and endings.
And now I need time to reflect, integrate, and recharge. Sometimes taking a break is more important than pushing ahead.
So I am allowing myself to relax, to play and have fun, and to enjoy life's beauty and pleasures. This doesn't mean I'm not working at all, it just means I am working differently, with more intention, and maybe even working a little less at times... without ANY guilt about doing so.
How are you being invited to close out your year?