"To believe that we can and must hide the parts of us that are broken, out of fear that others are incapable of loving the parts of us that we cannot love ourselves, is to believe that sunshine is incapable of entering a broken window and warming an empty room." Sandra Kring.
I've had to do a LOT of work on this ... learning to love my whole self - even those broken parts. Much of this work I did on my own - because in general I am a fairly private person.
But in the moments where I couldn't hold this space for myself I requested the support of other people. Loving, compassionate others who helped me see that all parts of me, even those deepest darkest parts that I prefer to hide because I believed them to be unlovable, are all part of what make me ... me.
My old story read something like this: I'm unlovable. I'm not deserving of true love or joy. No one will ever love me as deeply as I love others.
Learning to really, truly love myself has been one of the biggest lessons I've had to learn in this life. That healing process has been challenging, to say the least. My unlovability stories impacted every area of my life, including how I was showing up in my personal relationships AND how I was showing up in my business. Every time I thought I was "done" healing it, something else would happen that invited me to go deeper to heal another layer.
Even though this healing work was challenging, it was worth it.
I learned to receive Divine love, grace and forgiveness.
I learned to extend grace and forgiveness to myself.
I learned that I wasn't in fact a "bad" person - I was being overly-critical of myself and some of my choices.
I rewrote those old stories about my worth and lovability.
I saw all the ways I wasn't loving myself through daily actions and choices and have been making the necessary adjustments.
Now that I've done the work to release all of this outdated and very heavy emotional baggage, I have been rediscovering who I really am beneath it all. I feel more confident. I am showing up more fully for myself. I am taking big leaps in my business. I am open to RECEIVING love, too... and that's a big one because I used to block and sabotage it in every way possible.
I've come to realize that even with all of those parts of myself that I viewed as bad, that I'd rather keep hidden - I am still worthy of being loved.
I'm fully accepting myself - exactly as I am - flaws, mistakes, failures and all.
I am choosing radical self love. I am elevating my own needs and priorities. I am standing up for myself. I am setting boundaries. I'm stepping more fully into my life. I'm choosing to let the Light, the Warmth, and the Love in.
I am finally choosing me.