noticing your behavior patterns in relationships so you can shift

Our relationships are a rich source of learning and growth (if we allow them to be). When I work with clients, we don't dig deep into the past - because coaching is about acknowledging where you are now, choosing where you want to be, and exploring how to fill that gap.

Even though I don't go deep into the past with my clients, where appropriate, we do look at past patterns and themes. Seeing these can open some rich dialogue, which leads to fresh insight and increased self-awareness.

When I've done this kind of work for myself, I noticed the behaviors I was repeating in my own relationships, such as:
*Settling for less than I want/compromising what’s important to me
*Putting my needs and desires under/below his
*Ignoring my intuition/body wisdom/inner knowing about which flags were red and who wasn't the right fit for me
*Not using my voice or speaking up when I needed to
*Distancing myself from friends or losing my sense of self in relationships
*Not loving myself well enough
*Talking myself into relationships that weren't healthy or trying too hard to make it work even though I knew deep within it just wouldn't.

These are a few examples of what I've noticed about my own behavior - and some of the work I've done within and for myself. It started with me and my willingness to look at myself, my own behavior and the ways that I am contributing to relationship challenges. Clearing these, I've noticed a difference in my ability to co-create healthier relationships of all kinds. I've created deeper friendships (because I show up differently now) AND I've noticed a shift in the type of men I attract AND how I interact with men.

And now I help my clients explore the patterns in their behavior, in their relationships, and/or in the type of partners they tend to attract. The first step to making change usually is awareness. We need to know what we want to change in order to change it. And sometimes we need support, guidance, and accountability as we attempt to shift our thinking, beliefs, or behaviors. Even desired changes can be difficult to make because staying in the status quo is often easier. But the status quo doesn't allow for a new kind of experience.
​
If any of this resonates with you, I invite you to a discovery session with me. These complimentary sessions are an opportunity for us to explore your specific relationship goals, desires, and challenges and determine if we may be a good fit for working together. There is ample time for dialogue, questions and exploration.