Are you free to express your true emotions in your relationships? If you're a deeply emotional person like I am, you need a safe space to allow your emotions to flow. How your partner handles your emotional processes can strengthen or inhibit connection and intimacy in the relationship.
I don't know how many times past partners and others have suggested I "stop being so emotional" - but however many times I've heard it, it was too many times. Being emotional and feeling deeply is one of the most natural things to me - it's how I'm wired. And frankly, EMOTIONS ARE PART OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE! All of them... even the ones we'd rather not feel.
Our lower frequency emotions such as sadness, anger, or frustration are not a problem to be solved; they are a natural, normal part of life. What matters is that we learn how to process our emotions in healthy and productive ways, and that we take accountability for how we react when we are feeling them.
I've learned the techniques that support me best in emotional processing. I've also discovered that what's best for me, whether I'm dealing with a stressful situation or heavy emotions, is to allow the emotions to flow through and allow the extreme highs or lows to pass before I respond to the triggering situation. I need time and space to process. If I'm forced to make a decision in the heat of the moment, I will almost always choose wrongly.
When my partner does not honor my requests for time and space in these kinds of situations, it becomes a boundary issue. My needs are not heard or honored and I no longer feel emotionally safe, which has a negative impact on the relationship.
I know that my emotions are too much for some people - not everyone knows what to do with a deep feeler such as myself. I've come to accept that. I know that the person who is right for me will accept me as I am, honoring my emotions and my emotional needs without trying to change them.
When in a relationship, we need to remember that our partner will have needs that are different from our own - emotional and otherwise. How each partner chooses to handle the differences when they are noticed can either help the relationship grow stronger and closer, or create distance and disconnection.
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