When our needs aren’t being met in our relationships, we may feel confused and uncertain about what to do or how to move forward. We start questioning, “Is this relationship right for me?”
 
Relationship decisions are among the most challenging to make. Feeling dissatisfied in our relationship weighs heavily on us and may impact how we show up at work, too. When our needs aren’t being met in our personal relationships, it adds to our overall stress level, takes a toll on our sense of joy, and can impact our ability to stay fully present at work.
 
My clients come to me because they are unhappy in their relationship. They aren’t getting their needs met and they feel unfulfilled and disappointed. There is little intimacy, joy, or meaningful communication.
 
Here is how my clients have described the state of their relationship:
 
“We are roommates”
“We are stuck in monotony”
“We are trudging along”
“We are stagnant”
 
My clients reach out when they don’t know how to move forward. One former client said that when you’re facing these kinds of challenges, you can’t always go to your friends because they may not be neutral or objective. They may offer support or join in on a pity party or gripe session but these responses are not helpful.
 
She said some friends may try to tell you what to do to fix it. But in this client’s case, she felt like she had already tried everything she could think of to make things better. She was feeling resentful because she was the only one putting in the effort and didn’t want to do anything else. She was really questioning if she should stay in her relationship and needed to make a decision so she could move ahead.
 
When it comes to relationship decisions, we want to make the right one. We don’t want to hurt people or let people down. We may worry about what people will think about our decision. As women, we naturally care for other people and sometimes we forget to focus on our needs, too.
 
In order to move forward, we need to:

• Get clear on our needs, desires, and expectations and examine what’s realistic to expect from their partner
• Communicate our needs and desires more clearly
• Consider other ways to get some of our needs met rather than putting all the burden on our partner, who may not be able to give us everything we want
• Explore our alternatives and address our fears about making the decision and moving forward
• Discern between fear-based and intuitive-based decision making so we can choose what’s right for us
• Begin taking action based on our decisions and respond to what happens next

 
 
These are the kinds of things I help my clients with. Relationship decisions have lasting impact and require time, attention and thoughtfulness. I come alongside my clients when they aren’t sure who else to turn to for support. I offer guidance and support so they can make the decision that feels right for them and then take the aligned actions that move them forward.
 
Here is what one client said at the end of our time together:
 
“I had been struggling with this decision for awhile. I wanted an answer and felt unsettled. I was overwhelmed by it – it was impacting all other areas of my life. I had never pushed myself to sit and think through all the options. You provided a safe environment for me to do this.” Once this client made her decision, she felt more settled. She acknowledged that her decision was a conscious one because she had done the work and allowed herself to fully explore all the alternatives. She was no longer choosing by default.
 
If you’re experiencing any of this in your own relationship, I am here to support you. I offer a safe, judgment-free space for you to share and question. Because I’ve been there too and know firsthand how challenging it can be to navigate our personal relationships.
 
If you’d like to connect, let’s schedule a short call. You can send me a direct message or click here to schedule some time with me.
 
#confidence #confidencecoach #empowermentcoach #wellbeing #wellnesscoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #professionalwomen #empoweringwomen #womensupportwomen #midlifewomen #selflove #selfcare #joy #choice #decisionmaking #lifestyle #lifestylecoach #midlife #selfreflection #selfexpression #women

"I'm not going to get my hopes up..." Have you ever said that to yourself? I sure have. For me it's been a self-protection mechanism so as not to feel disappointed or let down later. Earlier today I caught myself feeling hopeful about a new possibility in my life. Even though it's much too early to know for sure whether or not this will come to fruition, I allowed myself to feel the hopefulness and excitement.


Moments later, I found myself in tears. I acknowledged that I was feeling hopeful and excited, and I was also a little scared. This new possibility, should it come to fruition, will require a whole new level of openness and vulnerability from me. It will require me to do things differently and to do some things I've never done before.


I love having new experiences and I appreciate how much they help me grow when they come along.


AND....


It's not unnatural for me to feel fear when I'm facing something new - even when I'm excited about it.


I disagree with the concept of becoming "fearless" because I don't think that should be our objective. Fear is a natural human emotion. I'd rather feel the fear so I can understand what I need to pay attention to as I move forward. My personal goal relating to fear is to feel it, learn from it, adjust if needed, then move forward anyway.


And that's what I'm committed to doing in this situation. I acknowledged that I'm afraid, AND I'm committed to exploring the opportunity anyway.


How do you approach the new possibilities in your life?
How do you respond when you feel fear?
What helps you move THROUGH the fear into what's possible?


#confidence #confidencecoach #empowermentcoach #wellbeing #wellnesscoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #professionalwomen #empoweringwomen #womensupportwomen #midlifewomen #selflove #selfcare #joy #choice #decisionmaking #lifestyle #lifestylecoach #midlife #selfreflection #selfexpression #women

​I have been doing a lot of "energetic" clean up again lately .... noticing the ways that I'm depleting my energy, making new choices to break old habits and patterns, releasing what no longer aligns, and exploring my unhealthy attachments and addictions ...

I've done this work in cycles over the last few years and recently discovered that I'm still clinging to some old ways and unhealthy patterns. At first my reaction was, "Ugh, this again...? Haven't I already done all this....?" Then I remind myself that making lasting change is hard and that it takes time and practice to implement new ways of being and doing.

I recognized how much I have already overcome, how much healing and growth I've experienced the last few years, and how much I've already released. I've already let go of so much, which is GREAT... but also a little unsettling. These in between spaces feel challenging because I am releasing the *idea* of who I used to be (much of which wasn't true), and shifting into the essence of who I really am (which I had forgotten). I'm still learning how to "be" without the old images and ideas.

In this transitional time, I was clinging to some of my attachments in an effort to try to maintain some sense of familiarity and control. Even though I chose to do this healing and growth work for myself, it still feels unsettling to experience so much loss in a short period of time. The kind of loss I'm talking about are things like loss of the false self and old beliefs, behaviors and patterns.

It has been difficult at times to do this deep inner work - and to make the necessary decisions and changes in my outer world too. Sometimes it feels like I take one step forward and then three steps back. Sometimes I get drug down into the mud when I don't want to. Sometimes it seems as though I'm taking giant steps forward but am not seeing the positive results right away.

All this feels frustrating in the moment but I've come to embrace it all as part of the journey and have learned to trust the process even when I don't understand it. Once I get through these messy parts, I can make some sense of the experience and it almost always bring a sense of clarity in some area of my life.

I choose to keep doing this deep inner work so I can make space to create the new life experiences I want. If I'm still holding on to the past, I can't reach for the future, nor can I be fully present now. So I keep moving through the messy parts, getting better at extending compassion and grace to myself as I go.

My encouragement and invitation to YOU is ...

When things feel challenging, remember to acknowledge the challenge.

Recognize what you've already done, the ways you've already grown and healed, and the positive changes you've already made.

Remember to look to the other areas of your life and appreciate the good that exists. What or who brings you joy? Who supports you when you need it? What are the good things that are happening around you?

This isn't about ignoring the messy parts - it's finding a better sense of "balance" between the extremes..... knowing that life is both challenging and rewarding, messy and beautiful, chaotic and peaceful. This is all part of the human experience.

💜

#confidence #confidencecoach #empowermentcoach #wellbeing #wellnesscoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #professionalwomen #empoweringwomen #womensupportwomen #midlifewomen #selflove #selfcare #joy #choice #decisionmaking #lifestyle #lifestylecoach #midlife #selfreflection #selfexpression #women

To truly prosper in life we must listen to our own inner guidance, follow our own rhythm, and create our own unique path. Listening to all the "should dos" from others won't help us live in alignment with our true self... neither will trying to emulate or re-create what others do. There are many people out there eager to share their tips to "success" - promising if we just do these things, we'll be healthier, richer, more fulfilled, <or insert other promised outcome here>.


The two main problems I see with that are:


1. "Success" means different things to different people. What you consider "successful" may mean nothing to me and what I consider "successful" may mean nothing to you.


2. What works for you may not work for me and what works for me may not work for you.


I've tried to follow advice and guidance from others in the past and doing so has never worked out for me. I might have a short term win, but the success isn't sustainable because it's not aligned or resonant with me and my path.


That's why I no longer do this. When people offer me "advice" these days, I know that it's more important to follow my own inner guidance. That's also why I've resisted created structured programs for my 1-1 coaching clients. It's more important that I help them in ways that work for them rather than force them to do the things that have worked for me. Each of my clients receive a completely different experience - one that is customized to their specific needs and the way they process and receive information. They appreciate this because they know I have THEIR best interests at heart rather than my own.


Take a quick review of your own situation.


Without attaching any guilt or judgment to what you may discover, reflect on these questions. The opportunity is to create awareness about the ways that you are not living in alignment and the ways that you are not being true to you so you can decide what you may want to change.


-In what ways have you succumbed to other people's expectations, shoulds, or advice? How has this worked out for you?


-What feels out of alignment in your life?


-What is getting your time, attention, or energy that no longer resonates with you?


-What changes would you like to make?


-Where will you start?


Awareness is the first step. With awareness, we can make new choices and move in new directions.


If you need guidance in reflecting further on any of this, making different decisions, or navigating life changes - please reach out to schedule a complimentary discovery session to see how I can help.


#confidence #confidencecoach #empowermentcoach #wellbeing #wellnesscoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #professionalwomen #empoweringwomen #womensupportwomen #midlifewomen #selflove #selfcare #joy #choice #decisionmaking #lifestyle #lifestylecoach #midlife #women #selfawareness

A HUGE part of my personal #growth journey the last several years has been evaluating when it's time for #change.


Clinging to old ideas, habits, beliefs, stories, and behavior patterns keeps us locked in the same place - even when we want something to be different. We may feel stuck or stagnant, deeply desiring change but fearing it at the same time. This is part of being human. We like our comfort zone and we crave certainty.


It takes #courage to allow some uncertainty and to allow endings to occur when they need to. It takes patience and grace to stop pushing for the "right" answer. It takes self-trust to know that we will make the right choices at the right time when we ease up on ourselves and allow things to unfold over time. We're invited to open to exploration and curiosity and to trust the process (which can definitely feel disorienting and scary!).


Awareness is the first step ... when we see old patterns surfacing, we can choose to do something different and align our choices with our deepest #values, needs, and desires.


#Clarity comes over time and through #ACTION. Each #choice we make moves us closer to what is right for us at this point in our life. We can't make a "wrong" choice because we learn from EVERYTHING! We can choose to focus just on our NEXT right step instead of trying to map out the whole path before we get started.


If you could use some support in exploring what's emerging for you, I invite you to schedule a complimentary discovery session with me to see how I can help.


#confidence #confidencecoach #empowermentcoach #wellbeing #wellnesscoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #professionalwomen #empoweringwomen #womensupportwomen #midlifewomen #selflove #selfcare #joy #choice #decisionmaking #lifestyle #lifestylecoach